Happy New Year

I can’t believe I am doing this again: setting up a blog for myself. I am not even sure this will last! Lately, staying on the computer for more than 30 minutes make me really agitated. I also worry that a personal blog will attract negative people to my life, and seriously I don’t need this. I’ve been thinking about this blog idea for quite a while. It’s the desperation to find a cure for a problem that I have. Maybe it’s a good thing, maybe it is not. I’m living a moment of extreme sensitiveness, and I am not sure that if showing some vulnerability for strangers is a good idea. I struggle with anxiety and panic attacks since November 2015 when my father passed away. I’ve always been a very worried and stressed out person, but the several difficult events of that year triggered this upsetting illness that only those who actually suffered or suffer from it, know exactly what it is and how it feels.

I might use this blog to other things as well. I’ve recently enjoyed journaling, and making a couple of collages inspired by a bunch of talented women I found on Instagram. There is something I am longing to try: painting with gouache. Last May was my birthday, and I gave a complete set of Japanese gouache to myself. I have not tried it much, which is a shame.

The good thing about the new year is that it gives us a sense of renewal. It feels like a blank notebook to write about our lives again. Our hearts feel up with hope, and expectations. My utmost desire is to get rid of the anxiety, but if I learn how to manage it,  I am probably good. Serenity is all I want, and need.

Have a joyous 2017.

{photo above: taken at The Desert Botanical Garden, last week}

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